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Burnout: like a clay pot filled with water spilling over

News posted: 5 January, 2025 Post by: Emily Edwards


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The Intersection of Wellbeing, Executive Functioning, and Burnout

The Neurodiversity in Business and Work report published in September 2024 highlights psychological safety, wellbeing and executive functions as the key areas where neurodivergent workers face significant challenges, and where targeted support and interventions are most needed to improve workplace inclusion and performance.

The topics my clients have brought to their 1:1 coaching sessions so far this year are congruent with these findings. And although each of these is an area in its own right, I also notice when I’m coaching that there is an interplay between the 3; creating a cumulative effect often resulting in burnout.

Client’s Exploration of Burnout

This had been the case for one of my Creased Puddle clients, in their last session, this was their desired outcome.

I want to understand burnout more from an ADHD point of view. Why do the physical effects happen? I want to have different things to explore that could help me recover from that a bit. Things I could potentially do.

Using Clean Language questions I began to enable this client to explore their own [ADHD] experience of burnout.

Please note: this transcript has been edited to ensure my client remains anonymous and to reduce the word count for the purpose of this blog. All questions are as they were asked in the session and all words are the client’s own. I received consent to share this information along with the image below.

The Coaching Session:

Coach: What kind of burnout?

Client: I am so tired all the time, I get 10 hours of sleep and I wake up tired. I am on edge and alert during the day. There’s no respite.

Coach: And whereabouts is burnout?

Client: My body feels fine, I am able to do this but I am exhausted. I feel weaker, my body feels weaker and it’s not functioning properly.

Coach: And whereabouts is weaker?

Client: Everywhere. My muscles aren’t getting what they need, they’re sluggish. Everything seems to be slow. My body is telling me it needs to rest, it needs to heal.

Coach: And is there anything else your body is telling you?

Client: I am tired from constant overthinking, overwhelm and overstimulation. This is constant work for my brain. My body reacts to thoughts and feelings, my heart rate is higher, I’m pacing and fidgeting.

Coach: And when you’re exhausted, and your body feels weaker, and your muscles aren’t getting what they need and everything seems to be slow and your body is telling you to rest, what would you like to have happen?

Client: My pot is so close to spilling over with water. I have cried nearly every single day, I don’t mind this. The stress and frustration comes out, this is embodiment of that pot tipping out some of that water. If my pot tipped out a quarter of it that would give me the space to not react as quickly to these things.

Coach: And whereabouts is that pot?

Client: It’s massive! Like a mountain. And there is this big clay pot, the diagonal side of the mountain is a ladder. I’m stood at the top of that ladder with a tiny cup.

Coach: And is there anything else about that tiny cup?

Client: It’s got a little sieve at the bottom, I am scooping out a little bit at a time. I don’t know how to get to the place where I can rest properly and get rid of some of that water, it’s not having an effect.

Coach: And when it’s like that, a tiny cup with a sieve at the bottom and it’s not having an effect, what would you like to have happen?

Client: I want someone to come along and tip it over! But I know that’s not realistic. It has to be me doing the work. I don’t know how. That’s why at the moment I’m so tired. It’s nice visualising it like that - separating it. It helps me notice what it is and it’s not me. It is something that is happening. It’s its own thing, it’s something I can identify.

Coach: And when it’s nice and it’s separating, then what happens?

Client: Rather than constantly trying to scoop it out with a tiny cup, I can just be OK with it spilling over. I can think about getting down from the ladder and consider ways to let it drain effectively instead of doing the same thing over and over…

Coach: And can you get down?

Client: I don’t know how to get down, it’s really hard to get down from that level of anxiety and stress.

Coach: And what are you understanding now about burnout?

Client: Visualising in that way it helps to explain why I’m so tired! Being able to visualise it like that, it gives it it’s own “thing” rather than it being a part of me and me feeling guilty about that or bad about that. It’s happening because of a set of events. It’s not completely external, I can do something about this. Being kind to myself. I would like to get down from the ladder and stop using a tiny cup with holes in it. I want to get down and assess the situation and see that it’s OK that the water spills over and that I need to give it time.

Coach: And what difference does knowing that make?

Client: I feel calmed about it. I probably will never be able to not react - it is internal, that’s what makes me even more tired. I can find different ways to frame it and look at it from a macro perspective.

Coach: And is there anything else about all that?

Client: Everything is more OK than I originally think it is. It’s not the end of the world. I haven’t done anything wrong. It’s also internally realising that I’m creating these situations in my head and I can react to them differently, even if it takes me a while really picturing it like this.

Coach: And is there anything else about really picturing it like this?

Client: It’s not permanent. I am not going to be stuck in this mindset. The pot will eventually tip itself out of water.

The Power of Metaphor

During their coaching sessions, this client noticed that creativity plays an important role in how they process and make sense of their experience. They found that visualising information in creative ways helps them engage with their own insights. To build on this, they used ChatGPT to create images of the metaphors from their sessions, using these visuals as resources in their work. Examples included visualising feelings of calmness in the body, the power of breath, and the ‘clay pot of overwhelm and burnout’. Here is the image of their clay pot:

Reference: Image generated with ChatGPT

Client’s Reflection on the Session

By using clean questions, I didn’t lead, direct or advise. I accepted the client’s experience and asked questions of it using their own words. By doing this I enabled a space where my client could be with their own experience and discover their own insights.

As the session progressed, my client began to:

  • Explore burnout in their own way, using the metaphor of the clay pot.
  • They noticed the relationship between their exhaustion and the way they were responding to their experience.
  • Used the metaphor as a separate entity which helped them make sense of it.
  • Make connections and consider new possibilities.
  • Consider how they might approach their situation differently in the future.

The Power of Clean Coaching in Neurodiversity

In this session the client was able to explore their burnout without judgment or outside influence, creating a space where they could reflect, gain clarity, and discover what might work best for them.

This is the power of a clean approach in neurodiversity coaching. It enables clients to access their unique ways of thinking and being, providing them with the space to explore, reflect, and uncover their own strategies for managing challenges. For neurodivergent individuals facing burnout, this can be a gentle but powerful way to gain greater understanding, self-compassion, and ultimately awareness of what might work better for them going forward.

This is what the client had to say about what they gained from their coaching sessions:

Emily has really helped me understand my ADHD and its symptoms, but also how I can manage them in the workplace!

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